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Stump The Beaver: Sally the Space Beaver

Jul 15, 2013 11:04AM, Published by Erik Dittmann, Categories:



By: The Beaver

From the Beaver Archives:  Sally the Space Beaver celebrating NASA's birthday on July 29.  

After experimenting on chimpanzees and humans for more than 50 years, earth scientists have determined that space travel is safe for beavers.  Hence, Sally the Space Beaver can be seen practicing her moonwalk.  (Note:  By the stroke of a pen on July 29, 1958, President Eisenhower gave birth to NASA, with the goal of putting a man on the moon.  Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin achieved that goal in 1969.)

Please send your questions to me at Beav@localeben.com.  Also, let me know if you'd like to receive my Sunday e-mail, complete with photo and silly story.


Amy from Beaver Dam asks:  Is Beaver Dam the birthplace of Gideons Bibles? 

Answer:  Yes, in the sense that John Nicholson and Samuel Hill made the decision to organize The Gideons while they were both visiting Beaver Dam.  It happened on the evening of May 31, 1899, so I was just a young sapling at the time.  As I recall, Jack and Sam decided to have a stroll around Beaver Dam when they were suddenly confronted with the sight of 14,000 busy beavers, doing what they do.  Frightened out of their minds by the astounding conflagration, the two men ran screaming in terror back to their hotel rooms where they read feverishly from their Bibles through the wee hours of the night, seeking redemption.  Realizing that other virtuous traveling businessmen might be similarly compromised, they dedicated themselves to putting Bibles in hotel rooms as the first line of defense against busy beavers and other departures from righteousness.  Today, thanks to Beaver Dam, The Gideons distribute approximately two Bibles every second, across the globe.

 

Jenna from Beaver Dam asks:  Do beavers make good pets? 

Answer:  Beavers are intelligent, charming, industrious, friendly, cuddly, and they are incredibly good looking (see picture on this page).  So, in answer to your question:  YES, BEAVERS MAKE ABSOLUTELY GREAT PETS (unless you have furniture or other wooden objects in your home).

 

Pat from Beaver Dam asks:  How are you able to keep up with your many commitments?

Answer:  I have a huge staff of highly devoted and minimally paid human employees, who are both looking for a real job.  So when writing to the Beav, if you want a thoughtful answer you should probably write it yourself.




beaver


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