Here’s the Beav, accepting his Oscar for BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A LONG SERIES OF ROLES ON A STUMP IN BEAVER DAM WISCONSIN ON SUNDAY MORNINGS WITHOUT UTTERING A SINGLE WORD OR MAKING ANY MOVEMENTS WHATSOEVER.
Note #1: You probably noticed that the Oscar statuette is actually an award that was handed out for 1st place at the WBEV/WXRO Creampuff Eating Contest, which all my friends believe is located at the very apex on my “Achievement Ladder.”
Note #2: Why do they call the Academy Award Statuette an Oscar? There is some dispute regarding who named the little statue. However, my favorite story is that Betty Davis named it Oscar because it’s butt resembled that of her husband, Harmon Oscar Nelson, as he emerged from the shower.
Note #3: If my butt could achieve such fame, then I might well surpass the Creampuff Victory!